How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
