Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just gift wrapped bread.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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