I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
