I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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