you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
