come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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