Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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