How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
