hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize