I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
