I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
