you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize