you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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