is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Congratulations! We have a period
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
