What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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