Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I love you.
Bad choice
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