I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
