just come out here and I will go home with you...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
