It's like God shit irony all over that family
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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