I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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