My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
