Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We have so much sex to catch up on
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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