billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize