No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
