i just wanna soil my oats bro
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
