hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
