the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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