I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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