i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize