I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
