Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
