shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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