we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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