the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
