Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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