great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
