I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
