I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
