In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
