he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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