There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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