she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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