Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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