I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
