Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
