Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
