so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
