I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
