she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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