I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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