My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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