eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize