ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
