Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
