Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
