how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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