Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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