I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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