The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
