Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
