conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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