Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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