just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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