i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
