Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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