I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My dad just said "fuck circus"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
